Tuesday, July 1, 2014

My Way

I grew up to be a rookie comedian. During my child hood eye was sensitive to light. My first kiss was an albino girl name Sarah. She let you kiss her if you asked. We wanted to know. We asked. We kissed. We finger paint and take a nap.
*I just realized we basically slept together.

One of my early childhood memories is calling a parent by their name. Momma's name was momma. Daddy's name was *go ask your father.
  i should have known better than to think he was my dad. The signs were clear. *He posted notes all over the house that said, "do not say dad to me, he's the one who left ya momma-I'm only here for pussy cat." *That bothered me tremendously because we had fish. We didnt have a dog named pussy cat....

I had many white folk around me when we left the hood off and on. I never knew that "nigger" meant me until I got around black folk who didn't live at my house.
I was in the 6th grade when I found out I was black and a nigger.
From 7th grade to 12th grade I found out I'm too dumb to pour piss out of a boot down hill in tennis made of skin and bones.
I was a freshman on college to find out, "no it's true-a girl makes you dumb when she likes you."
I stayed stupid for over 40+years.
*Now i'm smart. I no longer have a woman who likes me as I am(dumb). I have a woman who wants me for my security package options.

When i see a woman I like I lean in to her and say, "would you be my employer and give me a raise!" I like working overtime.

One time a lady responded to me and said, "as long as you don't make me late or call in sick we can do sumn. *8 second delay rule goes here.

My first in public girlfriend was Lynn Alexander. We liked each other a whole week. That is 3 years in kiddy years.
What is like? The entire time I spent searching for feelings. Do I love her close or do I punch her in the arm?
*Eye should have known that eye was never going to be dumb enough to get rich or smart enough to stay away from girls and be wealthy.
"I chose love." (awwwww)
3 ex-wives, 1 set of stab trophies still dumb. Trying again and again and again to find the woman who rejects me. I am hooked. One day I may lose it all and be blinded from the fall upward as my angel saves me from myself and has her way with me over and over and over again in passions unheard of before in a public setting between two goal posts as onlookers cheer on the brilliance of such passion and erotica. Yes. I may actually have to be attractive and alone at a drive in theatre changing reels as my sanctuary.
Orrrrr. I can do stand up.