Showing posts with label jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label jokes. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 20, 2014
HOW LONG DOES YOUR ANSWER HAVE TO TAKE TO MEET THE NEEDS OF MY QUESTION?
Sinner Saint
How much time do we have or are allowed when given a question?
-When someone asks you a question do you remain positioned to hear the answer or does anticipation or expectation ruin it for you? I am an introvert with extrovert potentials. I grew up a very silent boy all the way into an open mic. What is programmed in my dna, my neurological and systematic design is the simplicity of yes or no. When I am attacked I defend, evade destruction or remove the threat! We all do.
However when anyone is using time to ask me a question which uses time and expect from me my answer which uses time then by all means eye am in time to know eye am free to answer considering its not my question i am answering. Well apparently I was not believed when I said i am special.
*it's not that hard a question because neither is the answer .... maybe you not listening to your question which is why you not gon listen to my answer.
Daily people pass each other and ask "saving face" or "being cordial" questions, which in fact means you are lying because you actually care less about how my day was, or what i am actually thinking...you were just passing the time by. Office jobs are the best at being the worst in this arena. We fall for it all the time and because we are going through some things in our life and have been talking to God in private for so long about our life, we tend to answer peoples questions the way we believe we can talk to God - openly, honestly, without interruption, and with his love over us as we wait for the answer.
*Starting from Sinner Saint The Movie - lifestyle I will answer only one question and one question only. The rest need to be paid for. If I place a price on your word nine out of ten you will reserve your right to give me your word for free.
*If your word, dear people of earth, is valuable please know that sometimes i am not broke, poor, or without, the same word which is so high priced in value to you loses it's value when it is replaced by a better word. The question to ask yourself is which word did you use to replace your word?!
-i'll wait-
Labels:
answers,
comedy,
connections,
dallas,
jokes,
Love,
philosophy,
questions,
relationship,
SATIRE,
truth
Tuesday, April 15, 2014
How to be Sinner Saint: A Bipolar Abduction Corrected
There is nothing more comfortable than comfort itself. Yes. I have made the ultimate statement of all time and you are going to detest it and agree with it in the same breath before you lay to rest tonight or this morning coming. What is unexpected by you is the very knowledge within my being about why I am so comfortable in my skin.
I have nothing to lose. There it is. The ultimate secret to achieving success is to have nothing to lose in the first place. Keep in mind this is not a traditional option but it is an option. What I am more concerned with is the fact that all women jockeys arrive from riding the horse more than from looking at it eat. Yes. I said it again.
The little boy in me tries to evolve daily and daily as the effort grows the momentum does not. What is key in this relationship of confidence is the spirit. Yes. The spirit. The spirit is the very metric involved for causality of purpose. The purpose in the causality is the lesson taught and learned. The purpose in learning or teaching a lesson is the knowing factor of knowledge. Now that I have bored you enough with details unrelated to this topic statement or title let me indulge you a little bit further into the realm of Sinner Saint.
I say what ever I can speak that does not stumble into my teeth and gums or trips over my tongue.
I have nothing to lose. There it is. The ultimate secret to achieving success is to have nothing to lose in the first place. Keep in mind this is not a traditional option but it is an option. What I am more concerned with is the fact that all women jockeys arrive from riding the horse more than from looking at it eat. Yes. I said it again.
The little boy in me tries to evolve daily and daily as the effort grows the momentum does not. What is key in this relationship of confidence is the spirit. Yes. The spirit. The spirit is the very metric involved for causality of purpose. The purpose in the causality is the lesson taught and learned. The purpose in learning or teaching a lesson is the knowing factor of knowledge. Now that I have bored you enough with details unrelated to this topic statement or title let me indulge you a little bit further into the realm of Sinner Saint.
I say what ever I can speak that does not stumble into my teeth and gums or trips over my tongue.
Labels:
comedian,
comedic,
comic,
fun,
happy,
jokes,
laughter,
sober? really,
spontaneous,
therapeutic,
thought
Tuesday, February 4, 2014
Tell Me a Story by Sinner Saint
Story telling or tell you a story, basically means to me that you want to be entertained and at no expense. Well eye would love to entertain you at no expense, however, eye am in debt thus eye require a few trinkets to get me by. Dhat being said, we move onto our topic of discussion.
What is your story you are telling? This is an awesome place for anyone to begin, even in the middle of a sentence. Directions are known and unless moved too quickly they are easily followed. When eye speak eye often find myself in areas where eye run the phrases together because eye know eye am about to lose my place in my mind, due to the play back effect eye am under. The play back effect is when anything of audio is replayed in my minds mind and thus how eye am able to know what you said, even though eye asked initially, "what did you say?" Before you answer my play back effect has already hit replay and eye hear in your original delivery what you said. At this point is when you hear me repeat what you said, thus making you ask out loud, "if you heard what eye said, then why did you ask me in the first place?"
Story telling in it's proper function allows us to turn off the play back effect and function. When a story is properly told it introduces to the listeners a calming state of listen which allows us to soak up as much data as possible. We also are acute in our absorption antics hanging on to each syllable, phrase, mannerism, movement, and all around general delivery of the story as it is told start to finish. Story telling keeps us up and down in all the right and pausing areas so we each have a chance to catch up and not lose our place in line to laugh or smile.
Tell Me a Story
Today eye began to write a story and with great intentions. That's what eye told myself. This story will move the world and get everyone to be on my side. This story will make minds alert and awake and at the same time launch my career to fame and riches. Keeping this completely as honest as allowed eye must admit my hearts mind. Eye know in my heart eye don't share with others in hopes of becoming rich in a monetary value. Eye share to get chicks who want me to be rich with their monetary value.
Georgia likes me a lot. The only real problem Georgia has with me is my sense of humor. She feels eye could tone it up a little more than eye do and let it all hang out. Eye asked Georgia why does she want me to be more than what eye am if what eye am is good enough to be? She responded, well if you must ask. I want you to be more than what you are right now because of what eye know you are before now and after it's over. Well, this is simply crazy talk, "in thought to myself." Then it hit me. Eye get it. She is actually telling me to say everything eye am actually thinking to myself because it is in this closet of honesty where the humor truly is. So eye work and work and work and work, until eye believe eye have it right and my timing is excellent. Eye later take Georgia to an open mic performance to hear me do my thing in front of strangers. Eye go on stage. Eye do my bit. Eye get a standing ovation. We watch the rest of the show and leave afterwards in a long car ride home of 8 minutes.
Georgia? What did you think about my performance? She responds with, " it was nice. " So eye ask it differently and say, "Did you notice eye took your advice and said everything eye was thinking?" She responds, "I never said that?" Eye then repeated to her, her words and her mannerisms of how she said it, and what I responded, in an attempt to refresh her memory. Still nothing. So in defeat eye ask her simple and plain. "Georgia? Do you think eye am funny?" She says "Nope!" and with no hesitation or change in demeanor. Well eye thought to myself, "luckily for me eye am not trying to sleep with the audience."
We make it home safely, get out the vehicle, and go inside to turn in for the evening as it was late and exhausting. Georgia showers, powders, and strokes her locks in the famous feminine fashion. She's smelling magnificent and eye am attracted more than before and don't know why? She summons me and while in full woman fashion tells me to make her laugh out loud. So I try every one liner eye can imagine and get no response from her. She then stops me, grabs me by the face with two hands, and then pulls me towards her, kisses me passionately, then moves me down her torso until she found her perfect spot and says, now tell my friend what you just told me!
I followed her command and began telling every one liner eye just heard me tell her and what do you know. She starts laughing, and laughing, and laughing, and laughing, and laughing, and laughing! She can't stop laughing. Now i'm nervous because eye stopped talking and telling jokes minutes ago, and this chick is laughing continuously. She finally came to her end of laughter and looks me in the eye and says, "whatever you are thinking about saying to me right now will never top what eye am listening to this very moment, so please be quiet."
Well, eye am more confused than ever before. What is she listening to right now? Now my thoughts are apparent and obvious as my snarl has not removed itself. This chick is crazy. There is no one else here but us. So I stare at her in silence. 15 minutes of silence has passed by. She is still smiling and staring right back at me. Then eye hear it. Eye smile. Eye begin to laugh in an animated fashion and land on the floor. I can not stop laughing. 30 minutes have passed and eye finally came to an end with the laughter. It happened. It actually happened. Euphoria has set in and eye look Georgia in the eye and kiss her in a very loving and unconditional manner to every portion of her face. Eye kiss her nose, her cheek bones, her eye lids, her forehead, her lips, and her jaw and ears, even her neck line.
I heard in replay in Georgia's voice exactly everything she wanted me to hear, and she said, eye want to make him laugh, but first eye want him to do something for me he will never forget so that he can be successful. Eye want him to say everything he performed on stage as he is massaging my lips with his lips. He has no idea that he is sleeping right now, and eye figure why let all this tongue and cheek go to waste!
Georgia was sitting on my face as eye was sleep talking and she would whisper to me suggestions which would keep me talking until she reached her peak.
There are several ways to end a story just as there is more than one way to begin one. How about when the story begins in the middle of another story? Now that's story telling it like it is.
What is your story you are telling? This is an awesome place for anyone to begin, even in the middle of a sentence. Directions are known and unless moved too quickly they are easily followed. When eye speak eye often find myself in areas where eye run the phrases together because eye know eye am about to lose my place in my mind, due to the play back effect eye am under. The play back effect is when anything of audio is replayed in my minds mind and thus how eye am able to know what you said, even though eye asked initially, "what did you say?" Before you answer my play back effect has already hit replay and eye hear in your original delivery what you said. At this point is when you hear me repeat what you said, thus making you ask out loud, "if you heard what eye said, then why did you ask me in the first place?"
Story telling in it's proper function allows us to turn off the play back effect and function. When a story is properly told it introduces to the listeners a calming state of listen which allows us to soak up as much data as possible. We also are acute in our absorption antics hanging on to each syllable, phrase, mannerism, movement, and all around general delivery of the story as it is told start to finish. Story telling keeps us up and down in all the right and pausing areas so we each have a chance to catch up and not lose our place in line to laugh or smile.
Tell Me a Story
Today eye began to write a story and with great intentions. That's what eye told myself. This story will move the world and get everyone to be on my side. This story will make minds alert and awake and at the same time launch my career to fame and riches. Keeping this completely as honest as allowed eye must admit my hearts mind. Eye know in my heart eye don't share with others in hopes of becoming rich in a monetary value. Eye share to get chicks who want me to be rich with their monetary value.
Georgia likes me a lot. The only real problem Georgia has with me is my sense of humor. She feels eye could tone it up a little more than eye do and let it all hang out. Eye asked Georgia why does she want me to be more than what eye am if what eye am is good enough to be? She responded, well if you must ask. I want you to be more than what you are right now because of what eye know you are before now and after it's over. Well, this is simply crazy talk, "in thought to myself." Then it hit me. Eye get it. She is actually telling me to say everything eye am actually thinking to myself because it is in this closet of honesty where the humor truly is. So eye work and work and work and work, until eye believe eye have it right and my timing is excellent. Eye later take Georgia to an open mic performance to hear me do my thing in front of strangers. Eye go on stage. Eye do my bit. Eye get a standing ovation. We watch the rest of the show and leave afterwards in a long car ride home of 8 minutes.
Georgia? What did you think about my performance? She responds with, " it was nice. " So eye ask it differently and say, "Did you notice eye took your advice and said everything eye was thinking?" She responds, "I never said that?" Eye then repeated to her, her words and her mannerisms of how she said it, and what I responded, in an attempt to refresh her memory. Still nothing. So in defeat eye ask her simple and plain. "Georgia? Do you think eye am funny?" She says "Nope!" and with no hesitation or change in demeanor. Well eye thought to myself, "luckily for me eye am not trying to sleep with the audience."
We make it home safely, get out the vehicle, and go inside to turn in for the evening as it was late and exhausting. Georgia showers, powders, and strokes her locks in the famous feminine fashion. She's smelling magnificent and eye am attracted more than before and don't know why? She summons me and while in full woman fashion tells me to make her laugh out loud. So I try every one liner eye can imagine and get no response from her. She then stops me, grabs me by the face with two hands, and then pulls me towards her, kisses me passionately, then moves me down her torso until she found her perfect spot and says, now tell my friend what you just told me!
I followed her command and began telling every one liner eye just heard me tell her and what do you know. She starts laughing, and laughing, and laughing, and laughing, and laughing, and laughing! She can't stop laughing. Now i'm nervous because eye stopped talking and telling jokes minutes ago, and this chick is laughing continuously. She finally came to her end of laughter and looks me in the eye and says, "whatever you are thinking about saying to me right now will never top what eye am listening to this very moment, so please be quiet."
Well, eye am more confused than ever before. What is she listening to right now? Now my thoughts are apparent and obvious as my snarl has not removed itself. This chick is crazy. There is no one else here but us. So I stare at her in silence. 15 minutes of silence has passed by. She is still smiling and staring right back at me. Then eye hear it. Eye smile. Eye begin to laugh in an animated fashion and land on the floor. I can not stop laughing. 30 minutes have passed and eye finally came to an end with the laughter. It happened. It actually happened. Euphoria has set in and eye look Georgia in the eye and kiss her in a very loving and unconditional manner to every portion of her face. Eye kiss her nose, her cheek bones, her eye lids, her forehead, her lips, and her jaw and ears, even her neck line.
I heard in replay in Georgia's voice exactly everything she wanted me to hear, and she said, eye want to make him laugh, but first eye want him to do something for me he will never forget so that he can be successful. Eye want him to say everything he performed on stage as he is massaging my lips with his lips. He has no idea that he is sleeping right now, and eye figure why let all this tongue and cheek go to waste!
Georgia was sitting on my face as eye was sleep talking and she would whisper to me suggestions which would keep me talking until she reached her peak.
There are several ways to end a story just as there is more than one way to begin one. How about when the story begins in the middle of another story? Now that's story telling it like it is.
Labels:
arlington,
comedy,
communication,
creative writing,
dialogue,
fairy tales,
improv,
Improvisation,
jokes,
monologue,
short story,
SINNER SAINT
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