" ...who assed the question ... "

Sinner Saint is the only one who assed the question appropriately. #Selfie_Shit
*I am in the dumps about the selfie shits going on. I seen more puckers than smuckers and lemmons. Why all the pout mouths. Can we at the least be more profound in our self examined artistry? I guess we really dont believe in our character strong enough to fight the common cold or the flu.
-i'll wait-

Dedicated to my Career Choice

Sinner Saint's "The Joke that Didn't Work"
Improv Edition

*Thank you for allowing me to stand before you and express myself in full disclosure and nude. I want to talk about one small concern i have with single parent dating. You are not single at all. You been dating your child a whole year now. You treat him like he is in an adult relationship with you; ring and all.

"He is your child and not your boyfriend."
He's changed chemically and his genitalia makes him see boobs, booty, and touches. You may want to stop bathing him. He's 14 now and momma-when the light hits you at a certain angle the only thing in focus is A Boner and where to place it.

The thing about this natural stage of development is the boy is not aware emotionally his feelings. Here is how you help him. Ask him if he thinks you are attractive. Ask him if you were not related would he have sex with you. If he says yes and yes, you are by law required to protect this child.

Weird him out by doing these proven steps to a healthier child.

No. 1 Give him a shot of Wild Turkey
No. 2 Give him The Special massage;      by hand only
No. 3 Hypnotheraphy to remove memory of event
No. 4 Never acknowledge it

Here is why. Subconsciously all love is attached to mom. If boys could love their mommas they would; until fat and ugly arrives bcuz vanity is a youthful trait.  Allowing the subconscience to experience the event or moment and then move on is healthier than letting this one moment define his entire mind instead of build his mind.

I am not an incest advocate. I am an opportunist and if your scenario is custom made you have options.

- all eye am speaking of -

How to be Sinner Saint: A Bipolar Abduction Corrected

There is nothing more comfortable than comfort itself. Yes. I have made the ultimate statement of all time and you are going to detest it and agree with it in the same breath before you lay to rest tonight or this morning coming. What is unexpected by you is the very knowledge within my being about why I am so comfortable in my skin.

I have nothing to lose. There it is. The ultimate secret to achieving success is to have nothing to lose in the first place. Keep in mind this is not a traditional option but it is an option. What I am more concerned with is the fact that all women jockeys arrive from riding the horse more than from looking at it eat. Yes. I said it again.

The little boy in me tries to evolve daily and daily as the effort grows the momentum does not. What is key in this relationship of confidence is the spirit. Yes. The spirit. The spirit is the very metric involved for causality of purpose. The purpose in the causality is the lesson taught and learned. The purpose in learning or teaching a lesson is the knowing factor of knowledge. Now that I have bored you enough with details unrelated to this topic statement or title let me indulge you a little bit further into the realm of Sinner Saint.

I say what ever I can speak that does not stumble into my teeth and gums or trips over my tongue.

"What Is So Funny?"

There is much to be said when it comes to the relationship of timing. 

Timing is at its best a place where the connections are more than welcome to be set free! I am new to pledging my allegiance to Stand Up Comedy as a professional environment and habitat; thus, my sporadic blasts of funny. Currently I find myself researching and testing more than theory with my humored thoughts for translation. The resulted response of a connected thought manifests a physical smile, a chemical release, an experience, a memory, a reflection, and keeps my inspiration to succeed poised and practiced.

The only joke that does not work is a joke which is not working for the sake of the joke. 

There is more than one way to connect with an audience inside the arena of humor. Humor has different faces. There is the blemish face humor has which allows many to recognize how little certain flaws truly should mean considering it does not stop one from living. There is the critical thinking humor which allows a tenuous college student or professor to release regard for comprehension and speak the material. Then there is the testimony humor which is simply the artifact of life. The truth involves introductions or premise, patience in details, the set up and tangents of release.


The beautiful part of being a comic is knowing you work hard at being a happy place for others! 

JOKE MY LINES

•  Eye am Sinner Saint the Comedian and Eye Fly Southwest Airlines as often as eye am booked to tell jokes anywhere Southwest Airlines will fly. 

•  Some people think it is actually easy being the best worst comic! There is nothing easy about it. I am naturally hilarious and it is truly tedious for me to not be funny on purpose! Accident's happen, but not like this!
• Whenever Eye am in town and need to rest my mind I mix Nyquil Cough Syrup with an Energy drink and remain alertly calm all day long.

WHAT EYE FOUND VIA GOOGLE, YAHOO, ASK.COM SEARCH ENGINES
SEARCH: clean jokes OR commercial Jokes for cell phones free

•  http://www.greatcleanjokes.com/jokes/sms-jokes/short-jokes/
•  http://www.ducksters.com/jokesforkids/computer.php
• http://seniorfollies.com/landing/casting-stand-up.asp

SINNER SAINT'S "TWEET FOR ME TWEEZE?"

What The Tweet?

When I tweet about the twove of Twesus and all tweets twone for me. My tweet twatts out Twah-Leh-Twoot-Yah eye Twank God for Twaving ME!  

-tweeting in tongues-

"Sinner Saint" I am not posting enough to make the search engines top 10 list!

I am jumping right into this thought with hardly any buffer. I don't have a clue why you are not asking your local radio stations for my opinion on anything? Do you not desire an alternative funny bone? The voice and styling of this comic is best suited for late night radio quiet storm sexy in the mood radio but this delivery is body rocking knocking the boots funny.

The approach made to the microphone is simple. Inhale. Observe. Smile. Exhale. Speak.  The rest is between the universal molecular structure of time space and extenuating circumstances. Who in their right mind would honestly tell anyone they dumped themselves? Whom in a right state of mind would admit to being fired as self employed? There are plenty curious statements this individual makes and all of them leave one question to mind. Who knew about Sinner Saint? Where has this guy been facilitated?

The attempt to explain a show is not worthy. There are too many nuances that are not present when reading text. Example is when the crowd knows not he is listening to them entirely. The gleam in his eyes when he smiles at you leaves you wondering is he going to make everyone look at me? Sitting on the front row is an actual treat because it's easier for him to speak to you up front than the person hiding in the corner so their spouse doesn't catch them out on a blind date.

People with nothing to hide vs. everyone else is the object of discussion. I am the writer here and I speak about myself as if I am a total stranger. I personally don't get it. I mean I do laugh, however, I don't know why I am laughing. There was a moment when Sinner Saint literally said to the entire audience how ridiculous it is that they are listening to every word said by Sinner Saint and people start laughing. He didn't even say it in an abstract manner. IS he hypnotizing everyone into believing they are laughing?  Who knows?

Sinner Saint
"When You Need a Laugh to be Funny"

"Sinner Saint" The Open Mic Phenomenon Strikes Again

There are no more words to attempt to describe the lyricism and fines used to illicitly command humor from any audience type known to Dallas and Ft. Worth. Here is the complete comical about Sinner Saint. He isn't as funny as you hoped he would not be. There are moments in life in which the schematics used that possibly should not be, but are. That is Sinner Saint comedy.

This guy is different to listen to. There are honest moments, commanding moments and simply out right baffling moments of joy and laughter. Why am I actually laughing at what I hear this guy say. It's not funny but for some odd and strange reason my reaction to this delivery is uncontrollable. I have literally sat here and listened to him read my mind, tell me what I am not thinking about, only to think about what I am not reading from my mind.

There was a moment when I actually had to question myself to know if I spend enough time wiping my bum after releasing bowels to the toilet? Why? What purpose does this serve my life? How did he get me to think about wiping my butt enough before leaving the stall?

Literally I watched this guy more than once and each time was not rehearsed nor the same punch line. Once while waiting on him to open with a smart remark, he simply and patiently with poise and spunk watched the crowd look at him as he watched the crowd look at him. Who does this? Why was it so uncomfortably funny? I am starting to question what is laughter.

Only Sinner Saint can imitate Sinner Saint because of all the reasons it takes to be a Sinner Saint.

Sinner Saint "Cant Even Be A Loan" tour

Yes eye was Married to a celebrity. Eye caught her cheating on me with her love interest at the grocery store.
I ain't mad about it. I see it as my window of opportunity. I will overlook a ton of faults as long as eye can get the obvious. "You are simply living out your thoughts and fantasies. I am for living the dream. I learned from the experience I need to communicate better with women by listening more than by speaking. If I had listened to her cues and tells I would have been better prepared for my surprise and help act out the fantasy while we all in the same mind. No jokes here. Only truth.

I am not a hater. I do not hate. I want everybody to get laid and everybody to get paid before we all start remaining honest about everything. You"re shaking your head? Boy please. You cant tell the truth while people are actually listening.
If your girl asks you, "does this dress make me look fat?" There is no way to heaven you are going to tell her honest, "it was never the dress that made (her) you look fat to me." 

It's a set up and she is testing you to make certain you are going to say the right things when out in public. She knows she's plumper than when y'all started. She simply needs the reassurance you are not going to embarrass her in public. She likes the "D" she's getting, when she ready for it, and lets you help her get it, but she also has an agenda that has nothing to do with yours. Her agenda is look better than her friends and colleagues!
You worked too hard and too long to let something as small as HONESTY and RESPECT get in the way of a blissful 15 minutes or less (on average for you , but not me). She does it to you all the time and you take it. She moans a little, groans a little, and massages your male driven ego so that she can fulfill her agreement and get it over with, because face it, she ain't been in love with you since the 5th year of y'all being together. She can't be. If she were still in love with you as it started, you would be humping like rabbits and dogs every day for five years. Women and "in love" are only forever when they can't have you, but when they got you or know they can get you, it's all a game at this point. She basically says to herself, "I'm going to find out how far I can take this!"


WE IN TOM THUMB
We feeling kinky and my girl is wearing a nice short skirt, nice blouse, sexy heels, and some balls. (Pause...)
C'mon y'all know the ones women use. Morpheus had em in "Boyz In The Hood" when Trae(Show Me The Money) had went out that night and Morpheus was looking serious like "what the oracle said to you was for you & you alone", as he had them twirling in his hand?

 (or sumn like that...pause/look at audience with blank stare that says, y'all know what the what i am talking about...type stare)

Ahhh...Ben-WAH BALLS
Yeah the Benoit balls dropped out the couch, rolled 5ft away and the 4yr old kid reaches down picks up the balls & puts them in his mouth.
Looks straight at me & winks!
I look? I look behind me then back at kid. He winks again!
I'm like, this heffa been cheating on me! Then I smile again. I realize my girl has a fantasy I hadn't been fulfilling.
So I wait and I wait aannd eye wait.
She's sleep. Now's my chance.
I'm well lubed stiff and hotter than America was when IT realized Dennis Rodman was drunk and in Korea.

THE REST OF THIS JOKE WILL BE LATER. I'M WAITING ON MY INCOME TAX CHECK!
Sometimes ladies n gentleman, you have to simply dine and ditch. I knew I didn't finish the joke but you don't want me to tell you the truth, so I had to fake it to make it work, and here we are.

I'M SO BROKE I CANT BE A LOAN
I am out of money and I am going to die out here. I figure I can survive off of woman juices. The book I was reading described it as a waterfall, which to me is awesome, because i am a little thirsty right now. Actually I'm completely hungry and all i can afford is water. Not even filtered water or bottled water. I need a natural spring source.
I can see me now convincing my woman to let me have a sip. She would have to be the type that never actually researches anything and simply believes what you are saying because she can't spell it, so if she can't spell it, it's pretty safe to assume she can't read about it to know what is right or wrong.
I would crutch it too and look real sad like a feed the children commercial (selling poverty).
Don't boo me.
Believe what you need to get you by. I know how it is. All I'm saying is how do we know? Exactly, we don't know. If you can not prove to me my $0.38 a year is feeding a village where is my proof? It's not like you are sending me an Instagrams on a daily so I can see they eating good.
I bet you think "Leather Dress for Men" ain't gay? Bi-metro-sassy is gay. And I'm not talking about man to man booty missile gay. I'm talking matching the furniture with the puppies gay. Face it. Nothing means the same anymore as long as it is in terms of endearment.

YOU ARE SO DARK:
I thought I was sleep
People blink when you yawn (the light from your smile becomes blinding/and Ur teeth are yellow)
You make the sun sleep in late(sun says, i thought it was still night)
Blind men say, "who turned out the lights?" when you walk up on the scene.

YOU ARE SO BRIGHT:
I cant sleep in when u stay over
It feels like the sun is walking by me
You burn water
You make bananas turn color

2nd Thoughttt

WARNING OF (R) LANGUAGE

I dont wanna hear bullshit son's of bitches talk, so what makes you believe i seek the sounds of wining bitches of bitches? Not a mutha fuckin thang!

BULLET I like it deep with your pelvic thrusts. The way you elevate in sound as you express your pleasings of approval makes me dig deeper for the buried treasures. Then what happens? The 3 o'clock burrito arrives and vibrates my sack.

Dear Statuatory Rape Penalty
How are things with you. Hope you enjoy the summer.

Where does a crack fiend shop for flip flops and flap jacks?

When you squirt for the 2nd time are after dinner mints appropriate?

How do tweets twats taste?

Knock Knock.
Who dherr
Maybe i'll come back later.

*Feed a cow instead of having one
Sinner Saint