BOOM BAP NATION

Showing posts with label improv. Show all posts
Showing posts with label improv. Show all posts

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Sinner Saint "The Movie"

4 Sale 1 adult male

6'1
205 lbs
smiles n hugs owner
nibbles and bites by request
follow proper commands
house trained
dreamer and believer
respects you by name and by wishes
excellent for yard work, detailing and limosuine service
*loves cuddling and loving you, will protect you, trained not to argue you down to be right

I FACEBOOKED IT FIRST

Sinner Saint

Sooo...they want to change from time out to knock out in school for corporal punishment. Then place weapons on faculty and say to the students "trust the law" they wont shoot you for no good reason.
Why do we think there has grown a belief to enslave the citizen population with military surplus to keep them safe and secure?

*why not actually step up with updating the atmospheric conditions of learning facilities and increase enrollment by 88% simply by putting recess back in school?

the reason everyone gets mad so quick is because play time was removed. *thus y he games more than dates * thus why she tries so hard to move him to a fancy restaurant - 2play!

sex is more play & discovery thus y teen pregnancy is so high; causing an inflammation of needs; assistance; more breast milk & no.6 hair exyensions!

2 play is to release and enjoy your own thoughts again. We are rushed everywhere so others look better to their peers; pre k - college; marriage and a house; vacations and bigger fancier things;

Take away the play and make timmy work all days and nights and weekends and holidays and anniversaries and in sleet in rain in snow ; *unless you get a period - otherwise you out of luck. Ahhh - the power of a menstrual; zodiac killer; cramp my style; if jesus had a menstrual wouldnt be no cross - 2play is all im saying.

Food shelter attire and drugs are all we fight about; oh yeah...and who know God better than the next. When the real truth continues to reveal itself; *look at the one who stood to gain the most money the most power and the most facebook likes about how many tweets they have from their youtube videos.

I am leaving the ground and just live offline online!
-i'll wait-

Thursday, July 31, 2014

sinner saint thursday look back

Sinner Saint fun fact.
*i try to get hydrated as im pressed for time and abandon that attempt to be on time.
i do my thang and dash off stage because im dying. i get hydrated sitting at the bar and get hit from my left with a no homo pick up line ... is this seat taken.
im listening to greets and meets of colleagues and on my left the no homo pick up artist starts with this "im gon make him notice me by my conversation" lookin ass and just keeps talkin. My food arrives (nachoes is all i ever get) and beauguards a chip with these words ... "let me get a chip off you...you got more!"

Later im washing my hands and no homo is critiquing me about hosting and i just remain silent.

FUN FACTS:
Cant breathe in bullsjit or bad air
Cant tell me how to share..i brought money!
Cant expect me to like you bcuz ots what u want
If you ever try this billshit again and i have   
not decompressed my anxiety attack, my 
huper ventillation or my bipolar mania?; you are gon find out how funny sinner saint really is!

EYE DRIVE A BOX CAPRICE NO A/C
MOTHER FUCKER IM HOT
GET THE FUCK OUT MY SPACE
(in my lower case voice)

Thursday, June 5, 2014

Sinner Saint "I used to think"

I used to think I would be completely successful by age 35 and that i would travel the state of Texas maybe even the united states. Now i rewrite even remix my think. Today i think where can i get some money for a roll of toiletry wood. I have half of it nail on about the no working after 35 because i been unemployed since 33 and let me tell ya, it ain't easy living to see your dream come true. Especially in a grab your ankles, aggressive, dry, anal entry twist of fate, film, handed to you by the biggest prankster of all time called reality. Laughing goes here because you have 2 years left before you get fired and just had another wonderful surprise called after birth, remind you what an ice chip sweats like as you labor eternally trying to get channel 52 to show in HD premium b4  your medicaid expires. Ahh the joy of dreaming big!

Saturday, March 8, 2014

Sinner Saint "Yes, I did tell them that!" I got tired of being bullied

"You are so dark you make people think they are in a moment of silence!" by sinner saint

"You are so dark, that when you walk up, people start praying, because they believe their eyes are closed." by sinner saint

"You are so dark, people walk around in pajamas!" by sinner saint

"You are so dark, you make a pause hurry up!" by sinner saint

"You are so dark, you have to walk in flower for people to know where you stand." by sinner saint

"You are so dark, you make God cuss, "Dayum i thought i put some stars over there, it is dark!" by sinner saint


"You are so dark, people ask Whoopi how did she do it? Do what? Bleach your skin Whoopi! -girl naw! My friend is that dark it make me look like i'm asian!" by sinner saint


Wednesday, February 19, 2014

SINNER SAINT'S "HUMP DAY SPECIAL"

Thank you peoples for enjoying what little humor I am providing for your splendor and lifestyle of smile. Today is another beautiful middle which we all know how much I enjoy time in the middle. Let me begin by stating the truth about myself first. I am not what others perceive to be as "for everybody" thus I hold onto who I am at all times. This simply means that I know I am at fault but not to the point I am donkey about it.

I want to speak on the forbidden fruit subject matter of speaking with your mouth full. This has become a lost art and almost a dead language. When you know the truth is simple as you are what you eat, does it not concern you to eat more sweets? I will keep names free of this article and post the facts. Everybody ain't taste worthy. Some of this lifestyle's participants are not heeding the wisdom of the word in English translation. When you indulge yourself heavily it is educated of you to make certain you are balanced as possible. There is nothing as awakening as finding out about tooth decay in the middle of a french kiss on the cheek!

WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING
EXPLICIT LANGUAGE USED HERE:

Please if you can for my sake make sure your ass is actually clean enough to notice it does not stink. When your ass is not clean it doesn't take long to realize it does stink. Especially ladies when you decide to place an arch in your back and a tilt in your pelvis. This move alone somehow increases the sensitivity to the nostril area of the male face as he is watching your physique from behind only to be apprehended by a warning and a clue that this is some ass right here!

Please recognize that 3 uses of a face towel does not represent it is still clean. When coochie (country ghetto slang word representing Vagina) hits me in my face and I know I washed my face twice, then it is safe to say you are on some budget set backs of the wrong kind. Your face towels belong to the face and not the place you want my face! I understand it's hot in the summer however, these are Christmas face towels that read 2008! It's time to let go and let God!

Tuesday's Tips
I had a Waffle House breakfast in Arlington Texas and to my dismay another one bit the dust. She rushed me on taking my order. She did not offer me water. She also had me to help her clean my table. She was of course my kind of woman by habit, however, she only had a butt that was nice to look at in an "it's okay" fashion. The previous waitress to the same establishment was much more pleasant in her all around approach and made me thankful to tip my wait staff. "Here is a tip for all flavors of the month. No excuses please, just allow me to enjoy my meal prepared by your boss!"

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Tell Me a Story by Sinner Saint

Story telling or tell you a story, basically means to me that you want to be entertained and at no expense. Well eye would love to entertain you at no expense, however, eye am in debt thus eye require a few trinkets to get me by. Dhat being said, we move onto our topic of discussion.

What is your story you are telling? This is an awesome place for anyone to begin, even in the middle of a sentence. Directions are known and unless moved too quickly they are easily followed. When eye speak eye often find myself in areas where eye run the phrases together because eye know eye am about to lose my place in my mind, due to the play back effect eye am under. The play back effect is when anything of audio is replayed in my minds mind and thus how eye am able to know what you said, even though eye asked initially, "what did you say?" Before you answer my play back effect has already hit replay and eye hear in your original delivery what you said. At this point is when you hear me repeat what you said, thus making you ask out loud, "if you heard what eye said, then why did you ask me in the first place?"

Story telling in it's proper function allows us to turn off the play back effect and function. When a story is properly told it introduces to the listeners a calming state of listen which allows us to soak up as much data as possible. We also are acute in our absorption antics hanging on to each syllable, phrase, mannerism, movement, and all around general delivery of the story as it is told start to finish. Story telling keeps us up and down in all the right and pausing areas so we each have a chance to catch up and not lose our place in line to laugh or smile.

Tell Me a Story

Today eye began to write a story and with great intentions. That's what eye told myself. This story will move the world and get everyone to be on my side. This story will make minds alert and awake and at the same time launch my career to fame and riches. Keeping this completely as honest as allowed eye must admit my hearts mind. Eye know in my heart eye don't share with others in hopes of becoming rich in a monetary value. Eye share to get chicks who want me to be rich with their monetary value.

Georgia likes me a lot. The only real problem Georgia has with me is my sense of humor. She feels eye could tone it up a little more than eye do and let it all hang out. Eye asked Georgia why does she want me to be more than what eye am if what eye am is good enough to be? She responded, well if you must ask. I want you to be more than what you are right now because of what eye know you are before now and after it's over. Well, this is simply crazy talk, "in thought to myself." Then it hit me. Eye get it. She is actually telling me to say everything eye am actually thinking to myself because it is in this closet of honesty where the humor truly is. So eye work and work and work and work, until eye believe eye have it right and my timing is excellent. Eye later take Georgia to an open mic performance to hear me do my thing in front of strangers. Eye go on stage. Eye do my bit. Eye get a standing ovation. We watch the rest of the show and leave afterwards in a long car ride home of 8 minutes.
Georgia? What did you think about my performance? She responds with, " it was nice. " So eye ask it differently and say, "Did you notice eye took your advice and said everything eye was thinking?" She responds, "I never said that?" Eye then repeated to her, her words and her mannerisms of how she said it, and what I responded, in an attempt to refresh her memory. Still nothing. So in defeat eye ask her simple and plain. "Georgia? Do you think eye am funny?" She says "Nope!" and with no hesitation or change in demeanor. Well eye thought to myself, "luckily for me eye am not trying to sleep with the audience."

We make it home safely, get out the vehicle, and go inside to turn in for the evening as it was late and exhausting. Georgia showers, powders, and strokes her locks in the famous feminine fashion. She's smelling magnificent and eye am attracted more than before and don't know why? She summons me and while in full woman fashion tells me to make her laugh out loud. So I try every one liner eye can imagine and get no response from her. She then stops me, grabs me by the face with two hands, and then pulls me towards her, kisses me passionately, then moves me down her torso until she found her perfect spot and says, now tell my friend what you just told me!
I followed her command and began telling every one liner eye just heard me tell her and what do you know. She starts laughing, and laughing, and laughing, and laughing, and laughing, and laughing! She can't stop laughing. Now i'm nervous because eye stopped talking and telling jokes minutes ago, and this chick is laughing continuously. She finally came to her end of laughter and looks me in the eye and says, "whatever you are thinking about saying to me right now will never top what eye am listening to this very moment, so please be quiet."
Well, eye am more confused than ever before. What is she listening to right now? Now my thoughts are apparent and obvious as my snarl has not removed itself. This chick is crazy. There is no one else here but us. So I stare at her in silence. 15 minutes of silence has passed by. She is still smiling and staring right back at me. Then eye hear it. Eye smile. Eye begin to laugh in an animated fashion and land on the floor. I can not stop laughing. 30 minutes have passed and eye finally came to an end with the laughter. It happened. It actually happened. Euphoria has set in and eye look Georgia in the eye and kiss her in a very loving and unconditional manner to every portion of her face. Eye kiss her nose, her cheek bones, her eye lids, her forehead, her lips, and her jaw and ears, even her neck line.

I heard in replay in Georgia's voice exactly everything she wanted me to hear, and she said, eye want to make him laugh, but first eye want him to do something for me he will never forget so that he can be successful. Eye want him to say everything he performed on stage as he is massaging my lips with his lips. He has no idea that he is sleeping right now, and eye figure why let all this tongue and cheek go to waste!
Georgia was sitting on my face as eye was sleep talking and she would whisper to me suggestions which would keep me talking until she reached her peak.

There are several ways to end a story just as there is more than one way to begin one. How about when the story begins in the middle of another story? Now that's story telling it like it is.

Friday, December 21, 2012

New Years Eve Limousine Party

Celebrating the journey. Reserve your seat today. Drinks provided.
817-264-7554